My SHCN

The SHCN Cinema

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Welcome to St.Helens Celebrity News

Image taken from the movie "Shoot 'em up"

Think you know what's going on in your hometown. Think you know who's who? No you fucking don't.  St Helens Celebrity News is the only place you'll get all the gossip on the movers and shakers in the post-industrial shithole that is...  'Tellins.   Read on knob jockeys. 

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Packed with Wining and Dining Reviews

Ramsay opens a drive through in Parr

Whether your a Buzby's drinker or more of a Larkins man / woman. St Helens Celebrity News has all the latest review on the town's culinary delights.  Checkout our scoop on Gordon Ramsay's new venture in Derbyshire Hill.

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And Stories Featuring Urban Legends and Real Stars

Image taken from the "Invaders"

Yes, look out Nicole, Purps is behind you. Then again, your a woman with no muscles, so you'll probably be alright. Get involved in SHCN and submit your pics and stories. Just make sure they're funny and St Helens-related.

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Not Forgetting The Latest Pop Sensations

Image taken from the movie "The Kingdom"

Scully is currently in negotiations with Take That to replace Robbie Williams. This is the kind of news only St Helens Celebrity News can find. And it's all true! We don't treat our readers like thick bastards like the tabloids do. What you read on SHCN is 100% fact, honest.

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Latest Members

St Helens Celebrity Members Shun Contact With Civilised World
Written by Big Daddy   
Monday, 02 June 2008 14:45

We have a no post policy.

Photographed from high above SHCN Towers, Parr.  We can clearly see three members of the elusive St Helens Celebrity News anti-contribution team.  The self isolating tribe has made a righteous effort not to have any contact with the outside world, until this plane flew overhead and took some pictures.  The threat of spears and arrows against the giant metal flying bird might not seem like much, but it should be noted that these weapons have tips that are dipped in apathy and contempt.  Any contact with such poison makes you... oh, forget it, I can't be arsed now.

 
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Woodward Redacted BJ

shaunwoodward

Following the recent scandal surrounding the MP's expense claims, SHCN can reveal some juicy gossip about Sainsbury heir Shaun Woodward's claims. Read more here.

Jarvis Cocker is an Alien

JarvisCocker

Irrefutable proof has been gathered that former Pulp frontman Jarvis Cocker is not actually a humand being, but an alien from the planet Thaarg.  Read more here...

Ramsay's Parr Restaurant

GordonRamsay

Following the recent success of Jamie Oliver's take over bid for the Spicy Chicken, top foul-mouthed chef Grodon Ramsay is now after a piece of the action. Read more here...