My SHCN

The SHCN Cinema

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Welcome to St.Helens Celebrity News

Image taken from the movie "Shoot 'em up"

Think you know what's going on in your hometown. Think you know who's who? No you fucking don't.  St Helens Celebrity News is the only place you'll get all the gossip on the movers and shakers in the post-industrial shithole that is...  'Tellins.   Read on knob jockeys. 

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Packed with Wining and Dining Reviews

Ramsay opens a drive through in Parr

Whether your a Buzby's drinker or more of a Larkins man / woman. St Helens Celebrity News has all the latest review on the town's culinary delights.  Checkout our scoop on Gordon Ramsay's new venture in Derbyshire Hill.

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And Stories Featuring Urban Legends and Real Stars

Image taken from the "Invaders"

Yes, look out Nicole, Purps is behind you. Then again, your a woman with no muscles, so you'll probably be alright. Get involved in SHCN and submit your pics and stories. Just make sure they're funny and St Helens-related.

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Not Forgetting The Latest Pop Sensations

Image taken from the movie "The Kingdom"

Scully is currently in negotiations with Take That to replace Robbie Williams. This is the kind of news only St Helens Celebrity News can find. And it's all true! We don't treat our readers like thick bastards like the tabloids do. What you read on SHCN is 100% fact, honest.

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SHCN Writers Strike Over
Written by Mac_Market   
Wednesday, 13 February 2008 17:18

 Yes folks, the last few days have been a bit of a struggle without your favourite threads being written by the town's most over rated bloggers, but they are back now, pay rises in their back sacks and gagging to impress with their artistic flair.  After the strike that brought the boroughs most popular website to a grinding halt, the management and writers have settled their differences in a bare knuckle brawl and management have agreed to get the next round of drinks in.

 So come on in and have a look at what they have been musing while they were on their recent picket lines.  Who know's there might even be something that tickles your fancy.  Come on, what have you got to lose, apart from your dignity.

 
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Woodward Redacted BJ

shaunwoodward

Following the recent scandal surrounding the MP's expense claims, SHCN can reveal some juicy gossip about Sainsbury heir Shaun Woodward's claims. Read more here.

Jarvis Cocker is an Alien

JarvisCocker

Irrefutable proof has been gathered that former Pulp frontman Jarvis Cocker is not actually a humand being, but an alien from the planet Thaarg.  Read more here...

Ramsay's Parr Restaurant

GordonRamsay

Following the recent success of Jamie Oliver's take over bid for the Spicy Chicken, top foul-mouthed chef Grodon Ramsay is now after a piece of the action. Read more here...