Following the recent scandal about MP's expense claims, SHCN can reveal some very interesting claims made by MP for St Helens South, Shaun Woodward.  Despite his relatively reasonable expense claims compared with that old slag from Salford, it appears that Woodward has 'redacted' some interesting and some rather juicy expense claims.

Using sophisticated technology, the forensic department at SHCN has managed to decipher the claims made on Woodward's expense claim form.  And fuck me, you wouldn't believe some of the things the MP has claimed for.

Reading from the top down, the list includes all the predictable stuff you'd expect from a former Tory, turned Labour multi-billionaire. Woodward's butler expenses for his terraced house in Vincent Street can be forgiven, as can his parking fees for the Bugatti Veyron that he shows off in when driving round his constituency.  More surprisingly though, our experts uncovered some far more enlightening details on close inspection, including:-

156.  Geno's Donner Kebab with extra chilli sauce  £3.50

178.  500 Meat and Potato Pimbletts Pies (just before the bakery closed)  £350

182.  'Entertainment Expenses' at Buzbys Bar, Bridge Street  £210

194.  Full Weekly Shop at Just The Job, Sutton  £7.36

However, it was another entry that puzzled our researchers the most.  Item number 205 appeared to be a claim for a 'Full Body Massage with two hot girls, Solange and Bertha, at Desires Massage* including OWO and CIM.  £150"

Since us at SHCN do not frequent such places, in order for us to make an informed comment on the abuse of public money, we are requesting that our readers explain the nature of these services.

Meanwhile MP Dave Watts is currently being questioned on his claim for "A Topless Hand Shandy" at Sinderellas, Parr before it was shut down.

* Desires Massage can be found just off Jackson Street, St Helens

Website: www.desires-massage.com Please quote 'SHCN' when booking an appointment.